Some thoughts on the search for God

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Finding God is not hard here because here, I can see clearly that he is with me and for me.

I can almost hear him singing, if I pay close enough attention.

I love you, I love you, I love you.

When my heart feels beaten and bruised and all I want to do is give up, I hear him through friends and hugs and encouraging notes left on my door:

You will be safe in his arms, you will be safe in his arms.

When my neglect hurts others and I can feel the pain I’ve caused reverberating through the phone line, and when all I want to do is hate myself for it, I recall Kari Jobe’s bridge from Broken:

You never left me, you never left me, you never left me.

When I battle in my heart the urge to love on strict conditions and to ignore the least of these, because I think that will be easier, I remember the poster on my roommate’s wall that proclaims 

tomorrow’s freedom is today’s surrender.

Some Christians ask why it’s bad to listen to profane music/music that doesn’t honor God because if they know what they believe, shouldn’t they be able to listen to stuff without getting swayed by it?

Yep. They’re right. As some of us are called into gritty places to share the Gospel, it makes sense that Christians aren’t swayed by every single thing they’re exposed to. Profane, ungodly spaces need to hear the message of Christ.

Immersing yourself in the Word and surrounding yourself with things that point you back to God aren’t things you do to impress anyone, or things you do to be more “good” or more “Christian” than you were before.

You do it because it’s food for the soul. You sink deep into the Word of God and submerge, you let the living water through songs and art and words settle into your heart, all because there will come times when you will need the physical words to remind you of what’s true about you and God and life.

I promise you that there will be cold gray days when the idea of getting out of bed makes you want to die. I promise that there will be days when other people hurt you, badly. I promise that there will be days when you hurt others, badly. (That hurts more.) I can even tell you that there will be days when you want to believe anything, anything but the real truth. 

And then the Holy Spirit will take you into those spaces where you’ve sat before, the places where you’ve sat with God and said who am I to you? and he’s told you, in those very same hymns and songs and psalms and words upon words upon Words, 

how deep the Father’s love for us,

how vast beyond all measure.

that he would send his only Son,

to make a wretch his treasure.

We are loved vastly. We are treasure.

I know us Christian-homed kids hear all the time that Jesus loves us, enough to make the words boring and dead, but no. We are the wretched. He has adopted us. He’s made us wretch his treasure because he love love LOVES us.

This is not a stop listening to the bad stuff message. This is a start message – start filling your mind with whatever is good, pure, lovely, you know the verse. Dwell there. That’s where the peace is. That’s where the Spirit’s gonna take you in the harder moments. 

Seek, and you will find.

The Lord be with you, friends.

-e

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2 thoughts on “Some thoughts on the search for God

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